sleepy @ 1.40AM

ok. seems like i couldn't take the change of sleeping at 8pm and now im yawning and rubbing my eyes like a lil kid tt's been kept out of bed by the late night cartoon network re-runs. im just kinda bored right now, not really in the mood for dota. And drinking/eating is out of the qns. in fact, i will just want to sit in front of the com, and do absolutely nothing. But den, i rmbed my theory on nobody likes emo post on my blog, cos they wun tag. And yes, being a tag whore that i am. Im gg to post sth HAPPY.

This is wad i cook for lunch today. I know, it's a lil burnt. but come on. if u cant stand alil carbon in ur system muz as well die now. i mean. aiya. u noe wat i mean.

it's happy food! or wat joachim will say. tt bugger. STOP DRINKING. shldn't haf thought u how to mix. -_-"

im been writing a lot of stuff in my sermon book lately. The thoughts i had in sermon, which is not rly related at all. It's just random thoughts in my head n i pen it down. I found out sth abt me.

I THRIVE IN PEOPLE'S VALLEYS

I realised. i haf no will of myself. Only in people's downfall, i find my meaning. When people thrive, life is pretty aimless for me. Im a sadist. gosh.

"What good are you, if you are no longer needed?"

hmm. intriguing. u noe, i no longer like to share my problems nowadays. I just simply dunno wat to say. i will just sulk. or SMILE. but honestly, do they care? not rly either. do i bother? apparently yes. BUT.

"what more do you ask of them?"

i dunno. everybody's nice. a few irritating ones. but yes. they're nice people. yes. wad more could i ask?

"what do u need actually? advice? solutions? comfort? or MERE sympathy?"

i haven gt an answer for this actually. i used to tink i would like them to offer solution or advice. yet i slowly realise, either they're not up to it, or i just plainly dun listen. it then slowly turns to the sympathy look, sad to say.

"what are you then?"

Im defensive when people explain my situation to me. yet i wish people will know. I wanted gd advice, but it often came to sympathy that never seems to fill up this space. I tried using other things which im not proud to speak of, yet it just widen the space.

"why do you tink so much?"

What is of the norm to you, might be world aparts to others

this is opening up a whole new level of jed huh people? bet u guys DIDN'T KNOW.

well, i couldn't bother anyway. wad more can someone with 18 days ramble about.

A WARNING TO ALL OF YOU.

do not. I MEAN DO NOT. ask me when i enlist. i told u guys a million times. if you couldn't be bothered to rmb. dun bother asking. u wun rmb anyway. AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE REMINDED ON HOW MANY DAYS I HAF LEFT. MY COUNTDOWN IS MY WHIMPY SELF SYMPATHY. I DO NOT NEED YOU TO RUB IT IN. thanks alot! =D

im happy happy happy!~