6:57 PM

Didn't managed to go to church today. =( Was too shagged after spending the wee hours in the morning vomitting and trying to keep the ringing out of my head. yes, nt gg to club for a very very long time after this.

I realised how much of an influence i am today, especially to the younger ones in the cg like kim, jessica n linus. Ever since my birthday, i took it to heart that i cannot be a stumbling block to them. I cant be like the other big brother that's ok with them drinking, getting tipsy or drunk that they can skip church the next day just because i have done the same. I have been drinking a lot nowadays, cause initially i want to build back the level of tolerence i once had for alcohol. It's part of being in this scope of my job. But now i feel it's really good to be high SO i can have fun, that itself is an addiction. It's WRONG. I made a mistake, it's ok to have fun, but all of us must set our priorities right. Mine will be God, not the alcohol, not that kind of 'fun'.

On a sidenote, i really like what was preached during cg this wk. The first thing that occur to me was the storm is not of the Lord, the earthquake was not of God, but the gentle wind was God's. I used to think that God must move MIGHTILY, and not the gentle still voice of the Holy Spirit. Thus im always confused of the voices in my head. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out whether God's speaking to me, or I'm doing all the talking myself. Indeed, He comes like a gentle soothing wind. Sometimes, we need to take time to pull ourselves back over the hectic lifestyle we're leading and go back to that first place, that first thing we did when we first received Him, and known Him, that when we feel the wind, we will not miss it, and know it's His doing.

The other issue would be how to deal with temptations. Only when something is truly dead, full resurrection can take place. I cant put only a certain percentage of myself in controlling myself, of dealing with the temptation. I got to give in my all to break and overcome the temptation, that's when the FULL RESURRECTION can take place.

Once we truly break free, then we will be able to MOVE ON. Even when the past temptation may come forth to tempt you again, but you will not falter, you will not waiver, for it no longer have it's grips on you.

God allows us to be tempted, cause He wants us to deal with it. He knows, we cant just continue to carry this sin in our lives. We need to kill the flesh, to experience FULL resurrection of the Spirit.

This will be the wrestle, and im not letting go. The next time i blog, i hope it won't be me still trying to conquer this tiny problem. Cause im moving on to take on bigger giants!

IM A CONQUEROR THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!

Well for my 21st. This are the few short term ones that i have in mind now.

1. get my ps3.
2. revamp my room - i really want to paint it purple
3. lose the weight accumulated for the mth.

Things to do this wk.
1. Go to SIM open house
2. Go to MIS n check out the courses.
3. Go to joce's party if thr's one!!! haha!

and lastly, blogspot has been giving me sum issues. it's just not tt convenient anymore.
probably have an affair wif Tumblr soon? guess we'll see!

PRESENTSSSS!!!

Before i start, thanks for your giving and making the effort to make/get a card for me!

I LOVE THIS! thanks to venis for the logo and RAYMOND for the art on this piece!

The CARDS!!! Thanks to jh for putting the effort to wake up early to do the card! yes the sexy curve! N Jas Tan's one is just hilarious! Ok i want to be lean, but not that beefy. haha! yes if i can see it I WILL HAVE IT!!!

This is actually the real surprise of the party. They told me they didn't have time to bring the present and den tried to make me drunk. So while i was shagged out in my dad's car. Papa told me that the army ppl left sth real big in my car. This is really something!

Hah! Motivational book from jas to read, the bible from the cg after they really decided that my bible is too worn out and a memo pad to take notes from jess n linus. thanks!!!

This is actually the first time i received facial cleansing regime set and a shaving regime set. hahaha! ok i will try some day, but i really have no idea how to use the shaving one!

The scrapbook im sure everyone wants to see. hahaha! Too bad my mum keeps it wif my presents =P

And many thanks to the people who bought me this! im was really surprised actually. i initially thought this was teresa's gift. haha!

And lastly i want to thank those who gave me their well wishes, in forms of ang baos and vouchers. As some of you all might have known, jed is very very picky when buying stuff, oh ya and the clothes too(sry the pics arent up for that cos im washing it soon) so all this came in handy too! Real practical! thanks!

All in all, u guys made jed feel like a real Mr Happy!!! =D(thanks emi!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOO...

Ok i attended 4 birthdays in 2 wks. This is crazy! haha so i will post it up one by one.

Happy 21st to Zi Xuan!

21st for ME

Happy 18th Birthday for SISTER

Happy 20th Birthday to Teresa!!!

Well, for my birthday. Apparently i have lost some memory due to the alcohol. Like i did not recall jc standing in front of me while i paid the bill, the grp circle... BUT I RMB I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE BIG EARLOBES N LONG HAIR GAL. haha! I do recall making a long speech, and isabel realised i kip saying "it's not easy.." well, on the account it's really not easy trying to make a speech when you downed a few cups of mixed alcohol already! haha! But yea,

Everything is possible with God, amen?!

Anyway really would like to take this opportunity to thank those who visit my blog and attended my party. You people have been a great bunch of friends anyone could have in my life. It's really lovely to see you all still so cheery after all this time! let's jiayou together!

the hangover

Ok it isn't tt bad! Ty God I didn't got drunk. N ty God for parents! Saved me from the after party.
Haha I'm rly touched by wat everybody done, the lil things n the big surprises! Ty for loving me so much!
I will catch u all ltr alrite! On my way to church now. =)

How to get to Friends@Jelita

(This is the cold storage building. not the one at Holland Village. This is Holland Road)

Here's sum photos i took to assist you guys to make it here on that day. =)

The buses to get there. Bus stop is just in front of the building.

Beside the building is a Caltex petrol station.The Sign of the building!!!

How it looks from outside. there's an O'Brien and 7-11 at the entrance of lvl 1.
Take the escalator up to 2nd floor.
On your left is the place!

Friends@Jelita =)


Everything was done so you would come~

(ok if u still dunno how to come. i dunno wat to do.)

Does God exist?

On a side note. I finally met up wif jas for a meal ever since her bdae. Had a good chat with her, and of cos, both of us were prepared to get straight into that conversation that's kept silent for 2 years. So with some dessert and a pint of beer for me. We were good to go!

After hearing everything, i feel it was a closure of that chapter. It has been over my mind over and over again ever since that day. At least now, i felt i finally let go of that issue.

Many times in my life, i told myself i got to let go and let God. And honestly, i felt that i did so. But then why am i reminded of it so many times. It's like deep down, perhaps there was a part of me that i kept holding on.

Indeed, maybe it's time i got to let go, not only the sad issues, but the happy ones together too. Looking back, will be like Lot's wife, on that comfort zone that im have given up resisting in. Maybe, that was what hold me back time and time, to hold back about relationships. To get out on that pity zone that i have for myself, and build myself a shelter to enter in. To deal issues with God.

Im not sure whether after that day did the other 2 of us move on. But, i guess it was all meant to be. God must have known about it, and it was an opportunity to test our characters, and our faith.

yes, we were upset, but we didn't have time to mourn. Others maybe, but not us. We had to keep it together for the younger ones. We had to be strong for them. Im glad u 2 hold it together all the way.

That incident made the best and the worse out of me. It made me understood who i should rely on, and my dependence should be on God, not her. It cause us to rise up to the occasion, and mould the character in us. It bonded the cg, to make sure everybody will be alright, that their priorities be set right. We saw the vision together, to stick close to one another. like coals keeping each other on fire. Once we reach optimum temperature, we were then made to scatter. To start burning up other coals. The greatest blessing, is to serve and not be served.

It made the worse out of me too. I started doing things i never once imagine to be doing during that period. In the process, i closed up to new friendships. Simply said, i lost the ability to connect to others on a deeper level. Even till now, im constantly trying to regain all that i lost, only to realise it's tougher den when i started.

After that i made a prayer to God like the many times before. I lift them all up, and let you take hold of the reins.

You know, when you are desperate for something in God, He will just give it to you?

It worked for me too, on a good Sun morning. =) other than waking up at 820 and tithe to the taxi company once again. Anyway i had a gd bible study today and it was about where your foundation should be build on! Indeed, it should be on a solid rock called Jesus, and not on your friends, your leaders, or even your pastors. People can let you down, even in times we are unfaithful. He is always faithful. that, u can test.

After that was service. Pastor Tan shared an insightful phrase today.

"Those who are last will be first in the Kingdom of God. Those who are first will be last."

And it all depends on your,

1. Faith

2. Spirit of Repentence

3. Bearing of Fruit

I think for me, i started out being last, building relationships just because i didn't had any then, and i slowly move my way up. Some how i lost my way some where, and the younger ones rose up to take the place, and i became last again. But i will catch up. Be ready for it then alrite!

And the best was the announcement of the Men's ministry! Yea i do feel there's certain struggles that can only be shared among brothers, like army and all. It's a few good steps in a day!

See, God doesn't shortchange you. When He gives, He makes sure you get it!!!

Lastly, i feel that's a need to address one last issue. Perhaps my words have somehow created an misunderstanding between us. Perhaps it was the words of others that got both of us on the guard. I didn't meant to distant myself, i just want to focus on God and let no temptation take hold of me. I do cherish the relationship that we have, and i missed that feeling of having you around as a friend. Drop me a sms if u think it's you alrite? maybe im just thinking too much. =)

meeting up wif jas was just like discipleship again.

it was challenging, but it was a good closure. well, at least for me.

I will love to pen down my thoughts. but probably tomorrow yea? i need to wake up real early tml.

And i dun intend to tithe to the taxi companies. =P

TAKE NOTE: FOR PAPA N MUMMY

yes guys. this is not for u all. BLACKBERRY BOLD 9000



thank you!!!!! got to go prepare to meet jas now. cya all ltr!

As Abraham brought Issac up to the mountains, God will provide me a ram.

And He did. It's wasn't a lamb, but a ram that fulfils the same purpose. =)

4th Sep. 3:09AM

Find peace in God, not from the things of the world. u got to chew on that jed.

agnes b just sent me a mail lately. haha 500 bucks to become a member now! who wants to join forces?!?! lol, im kiddin, thr's nth much to get there lately. This wk has been mind-draining, preparing for the aussie trip by packing and a sudden outfield today. but i booked out on thurs, so i gotta quit complaining!

Hopefully i'll let to swim tml! Den collect my passport and cg here i go! And isabel, let's try to squeeze in sth tml for glen yea? enjoy ppl!