Chronicles of Jed

it's raining.
i haven notice my surroundings much lately.
so much work. so much things running through my mind.
if it wasn't for these 2 days leave.
i'll probably still be running all around.
Living my life to the fullest.

yet i know all so well. fullest is just not wat i can do every wkend. yet it's wat i cant afford to lose out on.

So today. im thankful, to be alone for a day. to think through things. To go on a jog alone. to run things out of my mind. To be clearer on who I am. These few days will set me on path again. Set me running again. No longer will i be distracted by the things im doing. No longer will i spend my time to indulge in things im not ready yet. I want to stay focus, so redirect my steps today Lord.

One of my constant recurring issues has just got to be rls. Some of u might know wad happened to me in the past and i really felt that this keeps me stumped. Really. I haven been in sync with everybody lately, i just felt i lost the connections i once have. I know jolly well, in order to keep a relationship going, there got to be communications. But lately, im just so bored of waiting for a reply of others. Im bored of smsing, i got to take more effort. to call someone up. i got to learn to trust again. To sow into others' lives. i gotta stop being so nice to ppl. It's sending the wrong messages, and i feel like im being pushed around lately. I took on a whole new perspective in rls. now im just tinking, whether it will be right.

u see. one day. i will find out by myself.