one day. i guess we will all understand.

2nd wkend burn for this month. see. before u knew it, it will be end of aug already! I know i got to make sacrifices, yes. i screwed up, didn't plan ahead. but there are definitely moments in life u got to make a choice. And, i chose family. Honour your parents. I know there's no point explaining. really. That statement was piercing, but woke me up too. But if i were to choose again, it will still be family. it will never. be u. or the friends. God i know i screwed up too. I apologise, wished i could have figured it out earlier.

yea. one day. i guess we will all understand.

it's alright. your actions now determines your future. It's not like. well. you know it yourself. Besides, you got to answer for your action now. You said it first!

who says i dun know people. i studied psychology in school afterall. =D

Focus and be determined in your actions, away are the distractions of the flesh, away are the temptation of the devil. Instead of conforming, make a decision to be part of the RESISTANCE today. You are no4!

Trinity & me.

i think after today. things just dawned onto me. i am so dissatisfied with where i am now. i hate to be stuck in nowhere. I know im in army, im restricted on the things i could do. But i believe in taking up a challenge. But all in all, i want a closer rls wif you Lord. right from the start, till now. I know how real You are. Since when i was a kid in pri sch, till now, u have shown me favours thru n thru. But i know im not faithful at times. I dun want our rls to be so insignificant, tt i always think to myself God is probably going to make me cry again some time, running back like a child.

I dun want to be a child anymore. It's time i grow up, and WALK INTO His calling. Thrown away my immaturity, my indulgences and my desires.

What's the point of having so much fun, when at the end it amounts to nothing? I want to store my riches in the spiritual realm, not in this temporary store.

the devil has come to kill, steal and destroy. yet, i know that he is able to tempt me, but im also given a choice to resist. Strengthen my will, to be able to break free.

i know there are sacrifices to be made. But knowing and doing is 2 different thing. I cant have maturity without responsibilities.

so give it to me. give me the spirit and motivation to do the necessary.

I love to run to you. i really do. but i dun want to be a wayward son forever. i dun wanna weep, saying how worthless i am yet u still wanted me. Train me up to be a warrior today.

dun treat me like a kid anymore.

char kway teow!!!!

in your face. take a whiff of alluring seduction. but cannot eat!!!!

i shall not do what others haf done. hahahaha!

the days we will look back

church is 20th yrs old today. Wow.

I always hear abt how the pioneers sacrifice so much that we haf such a magnificant place to worship God today. In the past, i wouldn't have given it much of a hoot. But today, i really felt like not only im home. Im home wif family today. Today i witness how the pioneers, who had nth in their hands but so full of the spirit managed to accomplish great things that no one could have imagined. I witness how the whole church come together to pray for the little daughter of one of the members who is stricken with cancer. I seen how generations unfold before me.

I realised. God is the same to everyone.

What they went through, i am going through now. I went through a struggle to care when at times we felt at a loss with the situation. We had nothing at the start too, but look at us now. How many of us are going from glory to glory. Some rise up to become big brother/sister of their cg. Some even went to SOT. In our little ways, we're impacting lives, a step at a time. Some of us prayed for the sick, those times when we were told he's not going to make it through tonight. Still this little faith we have, we prayed for healing. We prayed and we prayed, for God to come into this picture.

As the Indonesian pastor mention.

"I have little faith. I do what i can. God will help me do the rest, He bestow me faith."

the guy who the doctors have already concluded an ending. We open up a new page for him, unfolding a chapter for him. He did made it through the night, and is alive and very much kicking now. That day, we impacted a family. But deep inside, we impacted our own lives. We unveiled how true God is to us, and what our mustard seed faith could do. That day, we SAW, and we BELIEVE.

I seen how generation unfold, and i dare say. Few yrs down the road, we will be the ones as we saw today. Pioneers will grow old one day, they will hand over to us one day. But by that time, we all GOT TO BE READY. We need to BELIEVE, and muster our faith again, to carry on what they set off to do 20 years ago. Will you all be ready and run together then?

Let's get ready for a double anointing like Elisha and Elijah. Dun give up, not yet. After seeing what you could do, you KNOW that you KNOW. your story dun end here.

Im excited for the awesomelicious things waiting to come to pass in the next 20 yrs wif you guys.

Let's do this together. =)

random acts in camp

1. I bought a bolster from jurong pt to camp.
I have no use for it.
2. I bought durian to camp.
Finally savour some.
3. Shared wif friends to buy a inductor cooker to camp.
Instant noodles doesn't taste any better after this.

i.need.to.sleep.

had a lil chat wif sy over facebook earlier. Nice to still hear from an old friend once in a while. Starting from aug, im packed to the brim with activities going on till Dec! Man, it's tough, but im going to make it worthwhile. Just quite bothered by the fact i have alot of wkend burns coming up.

I dunno why im blogging this, since im already under an act not to reveal anything.

Today - Did something. burnt my sat.
Nxt wk - Duty. burnt my fri/sat. 21km omg.
2 wks ltr - Need to do a bigger scale of today. Burnt wkend again.
3 wks ltr - Exercise coming up.(pls dun burn)
1 mth ltr - Duties time.(burnt)
19th SEPT - heh heh heh(i hope my boss kept his end of the bargain.)
2 1/4 mths ltr - Duties over(yay!)
3 mths ltr - Gd Ol Wallaby!(burnt to crisp)
4 mths ltr - XMAS.

taadah! the most vague schedule i can come out with. Gd to keep short targets, and before i know it it will all be over! For now, i really need more discipline in life. I tried fasting and i got scolded cos i need to eat my meals or pay the price. So i went for veg fast but i got scolded again for taking vegetarian without permission. Been praying alot, but im just stuck with trying to change the atmosphere and get into the presence, while the rest of my mind is running around with problems and distractions of my surroundings(chatty ppl, snoring ppl) I dunno whether it's tough for all army guys, but i know the situation is bound to be the same. That's why i just got to try harder, n push further. In all aspects. If everyone could, i could. Might not be better, but i just got to put in my best.

touch me again Lord today.

7am. i will try.

i guess it's starting to get boring hearing jed yapping about how busy he is in camp. how many duties he's doing yaadaayaadaa.. Bdae preparation that ppl are anticipating, which im still lost n it's the last mth already. haha! BUT STILL.

jed is going to yaadaayaadaaa.

so u guys have sth to complain about. =D

Anyway nxt wk i will be booking out on sun morning. Hopefully i will make it in time for w506's superbly haven see daylight breakfast and make it for church 20th yrs anniversary svc! too bad cant make it for fop again. oh man.

Lastly, anybody wanna come my hse? no fanciful bdaes, but got ps3 instead! haha! i will keep looking still. dun worry. Dun wanna let LL win just yet. heh heh!

im on leave alot this few wks.. but alot of wkend burns too!!!! man. only booking out on sun morning nxt wk, tt probably means i will take lots of effort to make it for fop!!! woah. fop, cant believe it's so hush hush tis time round of the year.

CAN WE SENSE WHAT'S AHEAD OF US!?

hahaha i haf no idea wad im writing out now. too bored and my body is aching too much for a swim. BUT, i will head down to ION ltr! before i get wiped out by the crowd on sat. haha!

i'll wait awhile more, but dun let me wait too long. i will fight for u 7.

being in jw church always brings back such nostalgic feeling. it's a place where i grew in the Lord. I still rmb the time when we're going to move to expo and i was so happy and telling myself i wun wanna go back there for a very long time. but, it's really the first place that i experienced God. n i never failed to be impacted every time i was there. Now given a choice, i think i would rather go back to jw church for svc. yes, it's really a great distance, but that's why i really cherished the time there other den expo. It's just so much more homely, when i had to focus on was to just know God. As time flies and i became more mature, there's more responsibilites and more commitments, and jw church became my comfort zone. My idea of going to a quiet place where i can seek God and not get distracted. It's a lovely feeling really.

and today. is just no different.

be genuine. =)

HELP ME OUT!

Hey, if you guys haven notice, i haf set up a polling function on the side of my blog so you guys can help me choose a place for my birthday!(i could not make up my mind, and haf absolutely no ideas)

To help faciliate your choice, i haf put up links so u can check it out online. Do help me out!

1. My House @ Sengkang Nuff said!

2. Red Dot @ Dempsey (Other places in dempsey do let me noe n the rough estimation of cost!)
http://www.reddotbrewhouse.com.sg/

3. Timbre
http://www.timbre.com.sg/

4. Town (orchard bugis, etc. but you got to tell me where and the rough estimation of cost!)
http://www.town.com.sg/ lol im joking.

5. Love The World Bistro @ Sg flyer(actually i think their food is quite salty, but i will check whether i can change that. =D)
http://www.lovetheworldsoulrock.com/index.html

5. Other location (tell me where and the rough estimation of cost!)

Do vote for ur most ideal location! For other suggestions do email me @ junwei_fangs@hotmail.com, MSN, facebook pm, or tag me! =)

Just imagine. N Vote! play ur part today!!! =DDD

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY SHING!

(haha sry cannot find any decent ones cos the rest haven uploaded it.)

happiest 21st birthday girl! it's been my greatest pleasure to know you as a caring friend and a sister who's always there to give us a smile! im glad that u went so far, even enrolling into SOT. im so proud of you! =) I hope at least we fulfiled one of your girly dreams in life with the little blue box, and i rly like wat you said. That no matter where all of us are, when we come back together as e410, thr's always the feeling of being in a family. It meant that, we accomplished a feat that day. =) Keep on keeping on, ure awesome.

On a sidenote, i didn't get to donate blood today due to me being ill. Quite disappointed actually since i woke up early to do so. Anyway, i wanna thank God that nobody got hurt in the minor accident today. From the way i see it, it's rly God's protection to escape unscathed from such an incident. BUT DO DRIVE SAFELY PEOPLE!!! i gave u guys a little piece of me, dun try to take it away so EARLY! i nv thot tt i shld pray for journey mercy for a dinner like this, but i will from now on. Anyway im gg to have an early nite, tml is xy bdae! n im not gg to take a cab!!! gd nite.

=)

it's raining.
i haven notice my surroundings much lately.
so much work. so much things running through my mind.
if it wasn't for these 2 days leave.
i'll probably still be running all around.
Living my life to the fullest.

yet i know all so well. fullest is just not wat i can do every wkend. yet it's wat i cant afford to lose out on.

So today. im thankful, to be alone for a day. to think through things. To go on a jog alone. to run things out of my mind. To be clearer on who I am. These few days will set me on path again. Set me running again. No longer will i be distracted by the things im doing. No longer will i spend my time to indulge in things im not ready yet. I want to stay focus, so redirect my steps today Lord.

One of my constant recurring issues has just got to be rls. Some of u might know wad happened to me in the past and i really felt that this keeps me stumped. Really. I haven been in sync with everybody lately, i just felt i lost the connections i once have. I know jolly well, in order to keep a relationship going, there got to be communications. But lately, im just so bored of waiting for a reply of others. Im bored of smsing, i got to take more effort. to call someone up. i got to learn to trust again. To sow into others' lives. i gotta stop being so nice to ppl. It's sending the wrong messages, and i feel like im being pushed around lately. I took on a whole new perspective in rls. now im just tinking, whether it will be right.

u see. one day. i will find out by myself.

people pls do drink more water n have more rest! everybody is starting to fall sick, like me! this wk will be a tough 3 days for me, and den i will be on leave! Looking forward to sat. =)

it's really a tough week with so many things going on. God, i need more strength. more discipline. Thank you for healing me of my injuries. Im such a clumsy person, yet i know through everything, you have protected me from something worse. Thank you for never giving up on me.

the guessing is mutual. one day. we'll see.

just caught transformers lately. IT'S GOOD WAT. didn't understand why Straits Times gave such a bad review. This time round i actually could see the action instead of scrap metals jumbling around. haha!

Today i tink im ready. Sow me a dream, and i will birth forth your vision. =)

i will make it right for you one day, but not today.

im fine now. it's just recurring issues in different forms.

One day. i will conquer you.

for now. swim till i drop.

im sorry i imposed my value on love on you all.
im sorry i haven been attentive enough on you all.
I thought i covered all ground, but i have covered none.
PLS. dun love me so much that you all chose to keep quiet.
cause it hurts so much more to find it out from others.

took time to realise. that i haven been doing enough. haven thought of people enough.
i thought i did.
apparently it's not.

Happy PAPA day

heh. it's father's day. never thought i will be celebrating it. really. As some of you might know, i dun really share a great relationship wif my dad in the past. I was so young then, i couldn't understand why he's doing the things he did to me. Now to tink about it, tt probably is tough love. As i grew older, i finally understood.

when i was a child. i thought like a child, i acted like one.

now im grown up. it finally dawned upon me.

Papa lost his dad when he was really young. Grandma had to bring up 5 kids on her own. Im sure life was tough then, he probably didn't have much of a childhood fun then. The family struggled to have what they have today. That probably formed up what he is today. Always so thrifty, always doing his best for the family, to provide and care for us. He probably didn't know what love was about, what it was like to be a father, to shower fatherly love. That was why he's always so cold when i was young, why he would demonstrate such harsh acts and threats to make me learn.

He.. was learning to be a father himself.

Pastor Tan msg today reminded my rls wif my dad really. And i finally realised all this, when he said "when i became a father, i was like my own father, and acted like my own father."

Papa was probably just figuring out how to be a father too. Especially when i was so stubborn, so rebellious. Grandpa wasn't around to teach him the ropes. He had to do it thru trial and error.

Now to think about it, i am like what Papa has mould me to be. If it wasn't his scoldings and shouting, i would not have known the basics and made it to poly. If it wasn't his threats and beatings, i would not have learnt how to protect and care for the loved ones around me. If it wasn't his perseverance that never gave up on me however rebellious i was, i will not be the jed that you all know today.

My only childhood memory that i remembered so vividly was when i was in kindergarten, probably 3-5 years old. Papa planned a bdae party for me in my kindergarten. Mummy was feeding me, and i saw Papa carrying a box of icecream, and i told Mummy, "I don't want to eat already. I want icecream NOW."

Thanks Papa, i know i wasn't the son that u planned out to be. I didn't take the route you expected me to take. Yet, you were always so protective of me, and you told mummy you loved me so much, that i could do whatever i want. I hope i didn't disappoint you. And i want to tell you, you did great as my father. I'll probably be like you when i grow up, but definitely better, cause i know what fatherly love is now. Love you Papa.

lol fell aslp during blogging. cant believe i post it up yesterday though!

swim. slack. l4d!

looking forward to breakfast ltr. =)

charred

i tink i booked in as a chinese n book out as a malay siol. All it took was 3 whole days to get so burnt. nasty, esp with the uneven tans and all. argh, cant wait for it to be over before i can start to make amends. i didn't run much either this week due to the rehearsals going on, quite disappointing really. i need more time and more discipline! These past few days rehearsals have been quite tough recently, alot is expected out of us since we reclaimed the 'best armour unit' after 14 years, alot of practising to perfect the drill for SAF day parade. Haven really got the time to really sit down and relax in bunk. All day is just rehearsals with practising for atec stage 1. just a little more time, a little more discipline. i know i can, i know../
I figured i cant have the best of both world, i need tottt V

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!!!

hope u like your wallet and had an enjoyable birthday! i hope you had as much fun as i do. hahaha! do keep on keeping on, jiayou!

If you guys didn't know, i have been setting resolutions by the week and day. haha, just trying to set goals daily/weekly/monthly, rmb if u fail to plan, u plan to FAIL! And nothing will be more convincing to put it into written word!

1. Fast for this entire wk.

2. Go for a 30 mins or 4km run daily.

3. Go swimming and jogging after bs wif marc on sat and meet up jas in the evening.

4. start studying for ftt!

5. read the bible more, at least 30 mins a day!

6. pray at least 1/2 hr per day!

7. 15 mins revolution daily!

8. find a location for my bdae.

i can do it! =) and much loves goes to ll n sy. =) jy.

i tink i had the most injuries this wk. hahaha! a bump on my head, bruises on my knees and an injured shoulder. Really crappy to take all of this in one day, was so fustrated but too tired to vent it out when i reach back in camp. Really got to thank God for strength, the nxt day none of them hurt that much, i didn't even notice till i accidentally touched them. Tried very hard to fast for this wk, but just dun have the discipline for it. Got to FAST! oh yea, did i mentioned..

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY LIYUN!

really excited to attend ur birthday ltr! photos up ltr!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

To LL N KERK!

It was definitely an awesome birthday for both of them! hope u all like the presents and stay lovely always. =)

ll: i hate swensens.

kpk: ord lo!

Yes. talking about this, i've already finished 1 yr of ns already. Time really flies, now we're all 21 and all. So many changes going on, but it's for the good. I've never regretted it yet. =) Congrats to vtsz transforming into a vtZ now. really overwhelming with new people who i never seen before in church. But it's all good, cant wait for new changes.

Im really busy from this wk on actually.mon wed fri with pt, tues thurs wif saf day rehearsals and atec preparation on the way. I really need to lean on His strength all the more, n i really feel like going on a long fast. Haven't been doing that for a while, and i really need it. heh one day!

Been running around town finding presents lately. Esp for ly! cant wait to attend her 21st nxt wk! =)

honestly, there's so many things i want to do or get now. just couldn't find time for it. I guess im going to write it down first to remind myself!

i no longer want all that. i just want everybody to be happy.

im feeling so cranky today. perhaps it's the long training in the wk for the parade. I thought i nailed it today but there just another big parade coming in a mth's time. Rehearsal starts next wk every tues n thurs, while i will haf to juggle with my upcoming battle course for atec stage 1, and other commitments out there. Feel so stretched! n the egg i ate was so oily earlier on. super disgusted(random i noe) I need more strength and discipline!

but i will make it tml. i noe i will.

didn't make it. hahaha! nvm better luck next time. =) i tink there's a lot of misunderstanding going around lately, i gotta learn how to be a open book next time. heh! i mean, i thought im quite open already. oh well, everybody gotta learn something everyday. =D

So many birthdays coming up lately, I WILL LOVE TO ATTEND ALL ESPECIALLY YOURS LILENG!!!!!!!!!!!!

heh, so many things going on. God prepare my heart and the challenge im going to take on!

Man, this wk has been awfully taxing! im so stressed out by my tp which is tml! Even though i feel i could, i just need that extra assurance.. RWAR. hopefully i wun freaked out like my mum tml.

Anyway i just want to thank God this week for His protection. There's been a lot of theft cases happening lately, 2 psp n 1 ipod have been stolen from my bunk. We have no idea who it could be, but it's really quite disheartening to know. I mean come on, we only have such a meagre sum a month, why steal our precious valuables. As for me, im the VERY careless and VERY easy target to be pry on. From the fact of some habits i have, just really want to thank God that every morning i can wake up to see my hp/ipod/wallet still intact everyday. oh man.

PRAY FOR ME FOR MY TP TML!!! SERIOUSLY! =)

Life on the Moon

long wkend this wk. 3 days! Didn't managed to do much though cos i finished everything on the thurs 1/2day book out. haha caught a movie, went shopping and dinner wif friends.

Oh yea, i caught 2 movies this wk, Angels n Demons which i thought was really gd, and Night at the Museum 2 which is alright only.

I wanted to blog abt Angels n Demons actually, but i dun rly want to be a spoiler, so i shld keep mum till after the movie died down! haha! But a few phrase that i find quite meaningful would be

"People are not perfect. They have flaws, even me." - from a catholic priest in the movie. I find myself nodding my head like how i would respond in church during the movie, haha, pretty weird i noe. I would say this movie didn't have much God-bashing session than it was in Da Vinci Code. It showed how Man often go through means, even when it's not God's will, to help God. Got me thinking really. shall reveal more till den. =)

This wk was pretty much being led by the spirit actually. I find myself doing things that i would not have done, but we will see as things unfold i guess. Just got to keep trusting. =)

And many thanks to the ppl around me who's always willing to be my companions esp during the days im out of camp. Very much appreciate it even though i didn't played my part really well.

AND LASTLY. NXT WK IS MY TP. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. PRAY FOR ME! I dun have much confidence in it actually, just got to lean on God's grace! 30th will be the greatest day!

Mothers Day

sry didn't update last wk. Blogger was giving me a problem and i couldn't load up any photos. Anyway i brought my family out for a meal at some hokkien restuarant in Amoy Street. A restuarant tt the family likes to frequent. I was.. having jitters i would say, cos i didn't noe how much will tt cost me! haha!

haha i cant believe this got caught on camera! u can see how.. anxious i was about the meal.. "Good food at my brother's expense!"

Some of the famous dishes in the restuarant.



Happy Mother's Day mum!

After going through some issues in these mths, i really felt i learnt what's more important in life. I understood the meaning of "where your treasure is, there your heart will be." In the past, i would haf been more spendthrift due to how i was brought up by my dad. It's a cycle afterall, he learnt it the hard way, thus does not want me to follow his path too. Well, as a stubborn boy in the family, i had to walk that direction and i too, finally hit the wall. After that, i felt that money is not really as important as my dad used to say. I no longer feel a barrier when i give, no longer pressurise to hold on to that amt of cash in my wallet. It's like everytime i wanted to hold, i will feel, u haf given so much, wad's a little more? No longer am i bounded by the limits, no longer bounded by unforgiveness, broke free of my circumstances. Now, im just trusting God to fulfil His promise for me. I took a long wrong route, wad's done cannot be undone, but im just thankful He didn't make me walk all the way back. =)

Lastly, i just wanna say that im so PROUD of lileng. She shared a great life story that no alot people who have been able to. So many of us haf so many skeletons in the closet, but im glad she's willing to open her closet for us, to show us how Jesus cleaned up her mess for her. =)

Today i saw/heard/touch/felt God.

i couldn't think of any other simpler ways than this. thank you.

happy 21st bdae DERRICK

cheers to the many years ahead old friend. =)

it's almost 8pm! oh man, no time to blog a decent post. it's been so so so so BUSY! hardly any time to sit down other den having meals/driving/in church/chilling out. I promise to blog a decent one when im back this wk on thurs for LABOUR DAY ON FRI! heard MEN's confer is on tt day too. how awesome is that!

HAPPY 21st BDAE JASON

photos are available here

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=91625&id=541331849&ref=nf

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=78763&id=606853086&ref=nf

Lastly, i remembered during cgmeeting when veron shared,

David didn't went up the MOUNTAIN to look for stones, but he went to the stream by the VALLEY to look for stones. And the very stones that he picked, took out Goliath the giant in one shot.

God wont always use only the people at the mountain, but always the people that are going through the valleys, to test them, mould them, and use them mightily for His work. I finally understood. and I will keep holding on to that promise. =)

ICE COLD BEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

finally got over with ftx. throughout the entire wk all i could tink about was ice cold beer when im done. SOOOO

Timbre!

*photos are taken under influence of alcohol*

*no influence of alcohol, juz one very busy lady with no time for us*

Botak Jones @ Sommerset

time to work on the last 5!

i spend my entire sat at home today. i cant believe it.

All i did the entire day is snack, tv n dota.

POLY DAYS LIFE IS BACK. but definitely not here to stay. =)

I need to be more discipline, nid to control my diet!

aiya heck wif it. full troop exercise for the entire nxt wk to turning operational! n eio is heading to army on the same day! guess, we're all embarking on a new journey!

im blogging cos im really bored now. any1 care to entertain me? =)

I came across this verse on a school building during my trip to medical appt this wk.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge

i remembered when i first read this verse, i did not understand it at all. 5 yrs ago, when i read it, the God i know is not loving at all. He's always this BIG furious God that wants everybody to fear Him. The BIG BULLY! Throughout this 5 yrs, i grew up and became more mature. I realised, that the fear, is not wat i thought it was 5 yrs back. This fear, is not fearing wat God will do to u if u did something wrong, but fearing how much it will hurt Him if u did something wrong. Fear of making him disappointed. It's to honour Him in reverence. After this 5 yrs, He's still BIG as usual, but not that furious after all. He accepted me for who I am, loved me when no one else would. He wants me to fear Him. not in a 'I-WILL-ZAP-YOU-IF-YOU-DO-SOMETHING-WRONG' but to take Him into consideration with every step and action i make.

This coming Easter will mark my 5th year in Church. Time flies. I have grown so much, yet it just seems like im running on a threadmill. Clocking the distance, but end of the day, still at the start. I mentioned to my platoon mate, a Catholic today. It's hard to balance between army and God sometimes. In fact, there shouldn't be a balance from the start, it should be God in you, in everywhere you're in. God in Army. Sad to say, im not quite up to it yet. I still make mistakes, still having doubts from time to time, is it God speaking to me? or me speaking to myself? I still find myself struggling on my own problems, unable to lean on God. I never had, cause i haf never understood it. Sometimes i tink i got it, other times i feel im no where there. Sometimes, i feel i haf just lost it the day i gave up. To build a broken relationship takes time, lots of trust and effort.

Sometimes, i really want to be right back 5 yrs ago. when, everything is just so simple, where being in the presence is just so in reach. Now, apparently my growth in knowledge has driftened me apart from this presence. I need to lift up this veil once again. Cos the bible hasn't say my growth in knowledge will make me fear the Lord. That will probably be my thinking 5 yrs back. but now understanding 'fear of the Lord', i tink i got everything topsy turvy.

I need to fear God, den it will be the beginning of all my knowledge, all the answers that i am seeking for, for myself, for others.

the 6 wks revolution, will be mending my mistakes, breaking the habits, and turning this verse to work correctly for myself.

Today is Good Friday. Today is the day i must learn to take a step.

6 WEEKS REVOLUTION

Blog seems rather dead lately. haven got much time to update either, so sry. but since u guys see me so much weekly it wouldn't matter either rite? heh. it's 745pm now, n i have 15 mins to write a post before i go back to camp.

Been really slack lately, but it's still a build up to the full troop exercise rite after Easter, n eio is finally stepping in to the 2 yrs of being 'vegetarian' also on the same day! Definitely going to be fun for him, n i hope to get out of it soon. hahaha!

Watched the shinjuku incident and detroit metal city lately. DMC was hilarious, to see a metalhead having such a wussy nature. hahaha super funny! as for shinjuku, well it's quite boring, n i started to notice a pattern whr every chinese movie i watched(forced to), thr's always chopped up arms flying around. First it was protege, now this?! man.. DMC ROCKS! hahaha!

Feeling really crappy lately, due to some personal problems in and out of army. Really sian to even tink abt it at times, thus im gg to start on the 6wks revolution! As pastor said, 3 wks to break a habit, 3 wks to grow a habit. This 6 wks, im gg to push for something out of the natural. 6 wks later, i will be REVOLUTIONIZE!!!

this is wad your childish ridiculous acts of rejection done to people. i hope you're happy.

SUN GUARD DUTY!!!

This week isn't so bad afterall. i mean, i get to book out so many days this wk, the sunday guard duty dun really matter anymore. =)

Fri i went for Men's Confer. It was really good, guys actually get to be like just boys roughing it out together, it was quite a sight, that thank God the ladies wun there to witness it. Let's awaken the mighty one within!

Now im getting rdy to go to NTUC to stock up stuff for the week in camp and guard duty tml. hahaha catch u all next wk!

Preparation

! booking in real soon. wun be available for the next.... 2 wks? the nxt time you guys see me will probably be april already. So meanwhile sit tight n enjoy wad March has to offer still!

This is a quote that i kop from weiting's blog cos i tink it's real content worthy. well here goes nothing

For what it's worth: it's never too late ... to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same;there are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or the worst of it.
I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of.
If you find that you're not,
I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

*quotes from Benjamin's postcards to his daughter in movie Curious Case of Benjamin Button"

HAPPY 21ST BDAE JASMINE!

happiest 21st gal! thanks for having us today. I hope you enjoyed as much as i did! And i hope you like the perfume!

3:22AM

im sitting in front of the com, wif a can of beer by my side. It's been pretty long since i last drank, n i had been craving for beer in a while, especially during the urban operations i had awhile back. So here i am, alil groggy over the beer.

If i were to portray my feelings now, it will be.. discouraged. well.. some how. I regretted the decisions i made, when i felt the Holy Spirit tell me no, and i still did it anyway. Somehow, my mind told me to just do it, while He is telling me it's not wise at all. Now, the consequences have come on to me. Sandwiched. So. sandwiched. Now, i could only hope, and pray, continue to have some faith that it will all worked out some how.

stupid jed

i found this verse along the wk.

Hebrews 13:6the Lord is my helper, so i will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

Let's build our foundation on God and not on people, for He is our solid rock.
Don't let people bring you down, may it be disappointments or fear.
For God will always be the same yesterday, today and forever!
Assure that! :-)

But wad if God already told you so?

all this are just random ranting under the influence of alcohol. dun take it to heart. jed is always fine =)

im off to bed. busy day tml

hey all! along the week, i actually have thoughts of closing this blog. Since i dun rly haf any decent posts to write lately. Well, for starters, i cant blog about army due to security reasons and that's basically most of the stuffs along my wk. For wkends, im always chilling at home or wif you guys already. So.. why blog about something that everybody knows rite? But still, i tried to leave a post weekly, cos i understand sometimes this is probably the only contact that u guys can haf wif me on a closer basis. To actually know about my thoughts, and not my daily routine. A way for everybody to understand one another n help each other. This, is probably my attempt to get everyone starting to share wif each other, their problems, burdens, and most imptly victories together. I always believe, when coals stick together, they keep each other hot, if they are left alone, they burnt out very quickly and insignificantly. So i urge everyone in this times to really stay united.

Fri i had cg at marc's hse. It was pretty weird to haf 4 ppl only, and we were sharing with each other testimonies and the bridge illustration. I thought i did quite a crappy job wif the bridge thing, cos i really seldom do that. It's a different approach i feel, one that i wasn't that comfortable with. Nevertheless, it was a time of great fellowship, and most imptly. we played PS3 - STREET FIGHTER 4!!!!

shiiiiiiiiiiinnnnkkkkkkkkkkuuuuuuuuuu hadoken!!!!! *mass spam buttons*

Sat was hanging out wif xy, derrick, jason wif their individual other 1/2s. Had crystal jade and sum friggin ex sorbets. But it was worthwhile, definitely the LONGEST time since we last sat down and haf a meal together. Den it was targetting setting for the guys minus xy at DFS. lol! i tink it's quite crappy when u put ur heart to get something but nothing's available.

Sun was CHURCH DAY! Pastor Scallion(hahaha sry i cant resist it) was sharing about the 15thRevolution. how we could spend 15 mins of our time, to let ourselves be inconvenience by others. To really find a need, and meet a need. I thought it was pretty awesome. Since my 15 mins is probably going to start tonight. =) I also felt how important you must carry yourself outside the 4 walls of the church, as indeed, your character will probably determine wad God is in your life. I feel that being in army is definitely a challenge, but im changing day by day, trying to create a new expression. A leopard, that can change it's spots.

Anyway, we were supposed to play frisbee today but it started raining heavily =( nevertheless, we had a fun time at Nebo cafe, like minds cafe but a whole lot cheaper =)) it was definitely good time, we really went crazy and i still hope pok is not going to upload our rabid moments on facebook. oh shit. he just came online! hahahaha!

tat's all for now. im gg in. but b4 i do.

HAPPY 21st BDAE GLENDA!

Thanks buddy, for being more den u could. For being a pillar. Enjoy your bdae, sry i cant be there, but i hope u like the present. I know you would =) n i tink she dun read my blog... so could someone ask her to read on thurs! thanks ya! =) im gone.

heyo.

my com is going.. i tink it's just dying already. Everything is becoming so slow. the internet, n my msn. it's like. nothing works like in the past anymore. probably going to get another com after this year.

Today was a good msg. Indeed unity is very powerful and let's look forward to Easter guys. =) I really hope unity stays on wif e410 too. Never never let it die down because of the new environment, missing some familiar faces. It's a new chapter in your life, make the best out of it! Rmb to always love another, dun bully each other ok?

PREPARE AND REJOICE FOR BIGGER THINGS IN LIFE!

Oh and who's up for ultimate frishbee on 15th!? u nid to wake up in the morning, but i will make ur time worthwhile! =D

protect & shelter me, but don't bring it away from me, cos i will conquer it.

hello!

Was on leave since thurs evening. it was kind of a forced leave that we had to take cos we haf absolutely nothing to do in camp tt wk. So here i am, blogging on a sat! Im just too bored of town that i decided to just stay at home and slack. However, im still tinking of catching a movie, maybe slumdog millionaire or wrestler i guess. Role model sucks, boring movie!

I spent my entire wk other den slping reading up on the Harvest magazine. It's really good and there's many articles that gave me a lot of thoughts. Many times at night while i prayed, i couldn't sense the flow of the Holy Spirit at all. All too many times, i find myself praying and answering my own enquiries. What happen to that touch of God then? im a very forgetful person, I need this renewing of the Spirit! i need a new encounter! I been around long enough to stay stagnant this way. I seen how people come and go, seen how people rising up to the occasion. I need that as well. I need to fight and push for bigger breakthroughs! No physical limitation can get me down, i can be better than this!

Anyway, my tp is on 30th May(SAT). Those that need a ride to church, esp those living in my area. PRAY REALLY HARD I WILL PASS! Alrite, im gg to continue to load up videos to my ipod! Cya around~

randomlicious things

If you haven been hearing from me for a while, just wanna say that msn is going bonkers over me lately and i cant stay online for too long at each time to even haf a conversation wif lileng. tat's probably not tt bad since we're shouting to one another most of the time wif our exclamation marks, we're both having sore throats and she's most of the time breathless!

and HAPPY BDAE TO JEROME!

since kokyong has found the link to my blog. guess i cant hide it anymore. hahaha!

my blog has always been a stumbled link for stalkers. First was my fren's gf and now my army friend found it as well. LOL!

anyway a big happy bdae to jerome here. That day was just a chilled out moment wif his wii n flat screen monitor. Wad happen nxt was this.

the guys bought it for him. lol 1 position a day. omg.

wii game! sum random rabid rabbit game. hilarious!

scotty his dog!

after tt was hanging out wif jason on a shopping spree. let's just say, in this economic downturn. we are extremely HAPPY to be spending government's money. So after so many things that i got lately, i decided to finally do up a wishlist too for goal setting or hint for friends!(19sept!) (i am so bored omg.)

1. Ipod Classic 80 GB hard leather pouch

If you see this let me know!!!! ESP SERENE!!!

2. Blackberry Bold 9000

Actually i didn't think about getting it till looking at the design for myself. i was just looking for a friggin big phone screen and a qwerty keyboard actually. I myself was selling iphones for awhile but didn't find the interest at the touchscreen technology either. So after chancing upon Howard's phone and doing a research myself. i tink im quite dead serious to get it already. Howard got the best deal for only 200+, while i haf a lobang for 600+. Now im still wondering. n pondering. hmmmmmmmm...

3. A ahem* wallet. haha i couldn't find any good designs lately. maybe till den i will post it up again!

till den. im gone!

omg. im getting fatter. FIELD CAMP COME BURN ME UP!

V DAY!

a yr later.

For teresa =D
ty for everything people <3

Happy Valentine's Day =))